Sunday, November 23, 2008

My biggest mistakes...

I catch a lot of heat from things that are merely the result of birth-order dynamics. To wit, my youngest is a Youngest: the Baby of a Large, Belligerent Southern Family...

She's remarkably mature in regard to most things, but she loses all credibility when she falls apart at the seams, which usually happens when her sibs are present, and then I get phone calls about how horrible she is---with implications that it's all my fault.

It isn't. Get over it.

She also lost a lot of credibility over her love for, and subsequent grief over, a psychopath. And that WAS my fault. Because I trusted her emotions and judgment more than my own---because I am in awe of the incredible graces owned by devout cradle Catholics...I failed to use my Veto. It is my fault.

But I've been no less guilty with the others---they just don't remember---except for that dear first-born who was, from the beginning, frankly graceless. "...a heart of gold, A lad of life, an imp of fame...and from heart-string I love the lovely bully..."

But all the rest of you---I've had far too much respect for you, and far too little sense of my own awful responsibility. I'm so sorry. It was cowardly and prideful, and if you'd had a better mother, much of your sorrow could have been avoided.

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