Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I may not be completely socially unacceptable, but I'm trying...

Nancy Pelosi's admonition to the congress that they must "pass the bill so you can find out what's in it" was disturbing. More disturbing was her assertion that the bill is not about healthcare--it's about the future. It's about diet, not diabetes.

If you are not frightened senseless by that thought, you are brain dead. Yes, they do intend to control every aspect of your life---even what you eat. The recent reports in the news about schools sending out fat reports to parents and keeping records of their students body fat index is only the tip of the iceberg. You see, if this thing is going to work, we've all got to do our part. The fact that you may be paying for your own, plus 10 more people isn't important. After all, you're only giving according to your ability. They are only taking according to their need. You may not indulge in behavior that might cause health care costs that exceed your fair share. That's why we've been so carefully edging out smoking, in spite of the fact that the world health organization refuses to say that there is any truth to the second-hand-smoke theories. It's important that you don't cost more than other people, so you can't smoke. And it's VERY important for smokers and soon, fatties, to be marginalized and dehumanized.

You may think that people will rise up and demand that the government stay out of our business. Think again. Through a campaign of propaganda, the intake of certain foods will become so socially unacceptable that no one will think twice about banning them. Based on their own preference for thinner, "more healthy" bodies, but under the guise of "health concerns", your friends will demand that you serve only approved foods when you ask them for dinner---and you, dear sap, will have no one to appeal to and no one who will share your amazement at their total lack of propriety because wanting to eat french fries is just indefensible, and nasty, and, yes! INCONSIDERATE!

Well, they will get my french fries when they pry them from my cold dead fingers, and if someday one of my younger friends and relations comes mincing up to me and demands that I serve only tofu when he visits, because the smell of hot fat is just yucky, I will smile sweetly, pop him on the head with my wooden spoon, turn my jolly fat back on him, and go back to frying. For the sake of common courtesy I'm sure I will already be providing tofu as an alternative, but for the sake of freedom and my own identity I intend to hang on to my vices just as hard as I can for as long as I live.

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