Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I've GOT to figure this out!

Nobody wants to read this stuff and I apologize, but maybe if I write it down it will help me figure out why I have been SO sick for the past 6 days. I attribute it to going to the doctor and to Mass within three days---Tyler is 50 miles away and I was gone all morning and into the afternoon...BUT---I still can't believe that I'm that mentally ill---no one wants to be---but maybe I am. I have been taking my pills and sticking to mostly low glycemic index foods...but I think maybe I should increase my lithium and my potassium...So much anxiety, inability to focus, so tired but can't sleep. I keep wanting to eat, which is weird for me... but nothing of substance. I think I'd be happy with salted wood chips...lots and lots of water...See? I can't even write. I can't think well enough to write. I fed the horses this morning as Dennis was leaving---a little after 7. I find it easier to get out the door while he's still out there, and once I'm out, it's okay---I have Jake and Argie and Cleo and Baby and Scipio, Tweek, Dottie, Arliss, Hadrian, Benny, Rock Star, Belle, Daisy Kyle and Baby Heifer, so I'm certainly not alone...When I got back in the house, it wasn't yet 8, but I was overwhelmed with sleepiness and tiredness---although I slept from 9 until 4:30 last night. Can't think---That's the worst part. Anyway. I'm making a concerted effort to go do either the kitchen or the master bath. PLEASE, Lord, make up my mind which one! Why should it be so hard? I hate this for Dennis. I know it will pass, but he still has to live with me until it does...I'm so SORRY...

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